I figured I would take a brief break from saying OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW and CAN I HAVE SOME GINGER ALE PLEASEEEE? and WHY CAN'T I HAVE MORE PAIN PILLS? and "WHY ARE THESE DAMN PILLS MAKING ME PUKE? and I THINK I TOOK TOO MANY STOOL SOFTENERS!! and "MY BELLY IS SOOOOOOOO UGLY" and "BUT I THOUGHT HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO CLEAR THE TUBE! WHY DID HE NOT CLEAR THE TUBE GEO? WHY? WHY?"
to say hello.
I think if you've checked into this blog sometime this weekend you would see that things aren't going super great in Baggage land.
I think it all started Friday morning. I had to be at the surgery center at 6:30. I got up at 6:00 so all we have to do is get dressed and drive over there. But Geo gets up and says he has to take a shower. And I flipped out. NO! NO! NO SHOWER! We have to go now. They said be there promptly. Your showers are too long. We'll never be there promptly!
Then Geo has to sit out in the lobby until Bug got picked up. Meanwhile, they attempt to start an IV on me. First, they give me a shot so that the IV won't hurt. Geo questioned the logic of this later, but I just sat there and cried. "I'm afraid of needles. Really afraid. I hate them. I had to get anthrax shots and they hurt and really I'd rather not have the IV." The nurse told me to shut up. So she stuck me once and I could feel her sigh. No go. Then she stuck me a second time. No go. The other nurse said that the IV couldn't go in because I was shaking like Shakira and needed to stop.
Meanwhile, Geo comes in and I start wailing to him. (I was a model patient) "They couldn't get it in and I want it to stop! AHHHH" Then the nurse comes back in with a little shot glass full of something and I took it and then I didn't care what the hell they stuck in my arm.
Then the anesthesiologist (or someone related to that) came in and she had bought a car from Geo and that pissed me off because hey! I was the one getting the surgery. And I said, "Um, yeah, I don't want to go to surgery." And so she starts questioning me if I really want the surgery and that they can't proceed if I don't say yes. And of course, NO, I don't want the stupid-ass surgery so I say "Um, yeah, I guess" and she says "We can't proceed until you say yes!" and at this point I want to chuck my fuzzy blue slipper at her but the pink juice has made me too loopy. So I say "Yes, I want the surgery" and I jump up on my bed, my bare ass bouncing in the wind and sing, "Give me some surgery, I love surgery, please go investigate, I think you're really great!"
After that, they quickly shoved me down the hall where I saw Dr. Gel and he said "How are you?" and I said, "I'm scared" and he said "Good! Let's go!" and we went into the operating room and there were two big lights and I stared at them and the next thing I know I woke up and Geo was there. Apparently I had surgery for about an hour and then went to the recovery room and then came back to my private room.
I had the following conversation with Geo about 900,000 times:
Me: What did they say?
Geo: They said you've got one really good ovary and tube. It went "wooosh" with the dye and it is real nice and perfect.
Me: What about the other tube?
Geo: It's pretty messed up honey. You had adhesions and they got them off of you and cleaned out your uterus good. But your other tube, it is blocked but you've got one good tube and he says you have a real good chance of babies!
Me: Oh. I don't want a bad tube.
(ten seconds later)
Me: Hey Geo, what did they say about my surgery?
Geo: They said you've got....etc.etc.etc.
Anyway, you know most of the rest of it. Here are some random things before I pass out again:
1. My belly button looks like testicles.
2. One of my scars has two marks on the side of it. I'm not sure why but it makes an arrow. Geo says the arrow points at my cha. I think it points at my non-dead ovary.
3. I am very angry about my dead ovary (Galinda) and it's associated blocked tube (Satan).
4. There have many times during the past weekend that I wish I had not made it through the surgery.
5. My landlord is selling the house I live in. So I have to move.
6. Try not throw up after abdominal surgery because it hurts like hell.
7. I have been selected as a writer for two new blogs. Both are in the initial stages, so give it some time, but if you can check them out I'd be happy. www.hollywoodsnark.com and www.realitytvobsession.com
8. My doctor just called to tell me that I do not have any STD's. So um, I've got that going for me.
9. I wanted to write ten things but I'm so tired that I think I'm going to pass out. I'm going for now.
Thank you guys for your comments, they are keeping me going.
You're sounding somewhat more like you today. Or at least how I think of you.
Glad to see the sense of humor returning.
Take care of ourself and get better soon.
Posted by: ann adams | September 11, 2006 at 01:15 PM
I am really glad you still have a really good chance at babies! and hope that you get to feeling better really soon!! I hate surgery- and pray that your pain stops soon!!! and no more vomit! That is the worst after surgery! hang in there! congrats on the writing gigs!
Posted by: julie | September 11, 2006 at 01:40 PM
If you don't start feeling a whole lot better soon, I'm going to come over there and kick your ass.
(Of course I wouldn't because I know you'd kick mine harder.)
Ginger ale and gator ade make a pretty good mixed drink for now.
Posted by: DD | September 11, 2006 at 01:45 PM
Dear girl,
I am really, really sorry about number 4, but you have a lot of new information as well as physical trauma to overcome. It is my opinion that you are doing well to stand the glare of the computer screen as well as being mildly 'sociable' with your online contacts during this time.
In the absence of any sort of brilliance, I send you wishes for cool clean, fresh linen and refreshing and restorative rest.
I'm thinking of you.
Posted by: ania | September 11, 2006 at 01:49 PM
I'm afraid to comment because I think like Geo - Hey! You have one good ovary! How about that! Isn't that great???? Yeah, I tend to look at things like that, all optimistic, and I know you don't want to hear that. I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: karen | September 11, 2006 at 01:50 PM
Dang! You must be feeling somewhat better because your writing is getting back to normal and you changed the blog template. Way cool! I love the new look. Its Baggage!!! Make sure you don't lose it at National Airport!
Anyway, glad to come home and read a post from you. I know you will get better real soon! Love ya
Posted by: delightfulduchess/CubbieMom/Nana | September 11, 2006 at 01:52 PM
1. My belly button looks like testicles.
Is it bad that I think that actually sounds kind of cool?
I like your new look!
Posted by: Jenny Ryan | September 11, 2006 at 02:26 PM
Yet another parallel. Sorry for the length.
In my first lap, flow from one tube was questionable. Years later, I had a HSG that confirmed its blockage. A year after that, I went to an RE and wanted surgery to check on the endo and to correct the tube. I told her these things.
My surgery lasted less than 45 minutes. She had to remove a blood-filled ovarian cyst we'd known about, she said she saw no endo at all whatsoever (hooey), and did nothing to my tube, except confirm it was closed and try to force it open with fluids.
I was furious. I had told her to open it surgically. I mistakenly thought we had a plan. Instead, she decided that with one good tube, there was no reason to open the other. She felt that the risk of ectopic was more important than the benefit of the tube being open.
I disagree completely. A second tube being open would have increased my fertility. Even if the chance of ectopic were as high as 25%, I still would have had a 75% improvement in fertility. Further, if an ectopic destroyed the tube, I pragmatically know really wouldn't be out more than a normal miscarriage.
Instead of voicing her concerns ahead of time or being straight up, she made her own decisions without me in mind. I'm still pissed. Honestly, she was absolutely shocked that I called her on it.
Obviously, I don't know what was going on with your doctor, but I'll wager that the 'one good tube' rule was in effect.
Posted by: Cricket | September 11, 2006 at 03:11 PM
Way to go on the non-STD thing. And the new look? Thumbs up. Hoping you are feeling better soon. Although I have hope, since your post actually made sense and didn't look like Bug wrote it. I figure that must be progress.
Posted by: Jo in Utah | September 11, 2006 at 04:12 PM
Ooh. How long have you had that pretty header? (I use Google reader to read you.)
Abdominal surgery is a b!tch. Also, try not to cough.
*hugs*
Posted by: Jess | September 11, 2006 at 04:33 PM
Ya, I second everyone else... this sounds like baggage! yay!!!! I am sorry your belly button looks like testicles. Has it grown hair? It's all wrinkly too? Dang!! How peculiar.
Interestingly as I was reading this, I was trying to remember what my scars looked like post lap surgery, and what I felt like, etc etc, and frankly, I cannot remember a thing. Now that is either good or bad, but it does say a lot about the healing of time. *I* personally am very glad you made it through the surgery. As for Cricket's thing... that is very maddening. Though in Baggage's case, it seems the ovary is dead dead so having the tube open wouldn't make much positive difference (am I wrong, baggage? Or perhaps "am I wrong, Geo?") I too wish you clean crisp linens (dang that sounded nice), no nausea, and an upswing in your mood. hugs.
Posted by: cluttergirl | September 11, 2006 at 04:39 PM
I'm sorry things have been so rough. I'm hoping you turn the corner very very soon. You'll be able to sort out all the news once you are not in so much pain. We'll be here to help you deal too :) Feel better.
Posted by: wavybrains | September 11, 2006 at 05:24 PM
When I got my wisdom teeth taken out they put me under too. When I woke up I probably asked "is the IV out?" around 50 times. I do not like IVs. Keep on recovering! And I send a smile to you.
Posted by: angela | September 11, 2006 at 05:39 PM
glad to see that you're more, uh, coherent.
i had abdominal surgery last spring, and remember how my belly was that weird orange for a few weeks. it'll get better, the swelling will go down. pinky swear.
Posted by: barb | September 12, 2006 at 01:39 AM
It really sounds like you're on the mend. Keeping you and Bug in my thoughts as the days go on.
Posted by: Bev | September 12, 2006 at 05:10 AM
Ugh! Where is your baggage and bug site? It's gone and something else is there now!
Posted by: Kristi K. | November 21, 2008 at 07:53 AM
I know! Baggage where are you!!! I don't want luggage!
Posted by: cubby | November 24, 2008 at 08:34 AM
Hey stranger! How the hell have you been. Been thinking of you and bug lately. Hope you are both well.
Posted by: Julie | October 18, 2010 at 05:05 AM
Once I got the green light to have sex, I got pregnant on the first try after my laparoscopy, and I also have a left tube completely blocked. I wish the same for you - stay positive!
good luck girl!
P.S. I've been looking high and low for your adoption /foster blog but cannot find it anywhere!
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